Tests, options and surgery...

I knew I shouldn't have checked email that late last night. I could have just gone to bed, but no.
Instead, I opened an email from my aunt. In it was the news that my mom was going to have a double mastectomy in February. Just about 2 weeks from now.
I knew it was a possibility. Mom and I had talked about it some. She'd had the lumpectomy done late last year. The results suggested the possibility of a precursor to breast cancer. At least, that's the way we understood it. A 2 mm something or other. Non invasive. That was good news. However, when the 64 slides were examined, they found traces of LCIS and DCIS. Was it one or the other? Both? We weren't exactly clear on that. Nevertheless, she was scheduled for 3 weeks of radiation therapy. As a kind of 'preventive' treatment. Or so we thought. Then, 3rd day into treatment, they send her home. Why?? It was scary, not knowing. It was explained that the pathologist in Saint John read the slides differently that Fredericton. Only thing is, they didn't get them until she had already started treatment. What is wrong with that picture??
Suddenly we were in a state of confusion. Again. Just after we had reconciled ourselves for her 3 week stay for treatment. This would be the ticket, the cure, the 'just in case'. So back to the doctors.
After careful consideration, it was decided, partly due to family history (other kinds of cancer), and to the findings, that a simple double mastectomy would be best. Mom felt that due to her age (over 65) that she would rather have it done and over with now, than find out 5 years later that the other would have to come off too. She wants peace, not to live in fear of every mammogram of 'inconclusive' findings again, or worse, cancer itself, the invasive kind.
So here we are. After speaking at length with her this morning, and going over a copy of the pathologist's report, navigating all those big words, we were in agreement. Not that we want to do this at all, the Lord knows I'd rather she didn't have to go through any surgery, as she's not real tolerant of anesthesia or drugs of any kind. But the alternative is unthinkable.
So we go on with what peace we can with this decision. I never thought it would come to this, or happen in my family. Others perhaps, but not mine...
Isn't that the way it always is, though.

Mid January, and it's cold!

It was 1 degree F this morning! Cold! Especially for here in CT. It took the furnace an hour to warm up 10 degrees. I thought something was wrong, but doesn't seem to be. Just not used to being this cold here. I woke up at 4AM and started worrying over the pipes, even though this house is not quite 20 yrs old yet. How old does a house have to be to have a valid reason to worry over pipes breaking? I'm thinking turn of the century or older, depending on how well built it is, but I could be wrong.
We were spoiled a bit by some recent winters. Although last winter was colder and snowier, and this one has followed suit, I remember a few years back when people were golfing in February! Not this year, with snow and ice on the ground. I still see the occasional flip flop though when we are out shopping or out for dinner. Ridiculous if you ask me. Are some people in denial??
Not too much happening here. We are still looking at houses, hoping to move sometime this spring. I would really love to be out of here before spring planting time. It would be lovely to have a real nice garden this year. Plus, I want to get all my perennials out of the ground before a lot of growth has started. I have a lot of transplanting to do!
I'm still dreaming of acreage. Ok, an acre would even be nice, but I'm hoping for 2 or more. Very expensive here. But one can hope. If you've read some of my older posts, then you know what my dream is. I'm trying to temper that with my pocketbook! Ha!

Still fighting with the squirrels and blue jays at the feeders. Last year, had no squirrels, and only a couple of jays. This year, a whole family - about 7 or so, and at least 5 squirrels. Until I saw a couple of hawks this past week.The squirrels are now down to 2 at the feeder today - maybe the others are in hiding? I don't mind a squirrel or two, but 5 or more is just too many! They clean the feeders, and the little birds can't get at the food. Same with the jays, only now the jays have discovered my suet. They even chase off the biggest of my wood peckers - the Red Bellieds. I have so many downies now - at least 3 pr. A couple of pair of Hairies too.
Lately, they have been climbing up my patio door screens and leaping onto my feeder. I've moved the screen over, and as you can see above, he is looking for it! He scrambled around, looking into the house, trying to climb the glass, until he finally discovered it next to him. It was comical, and I did get a video or two of him climbing the screen. No damage yet, it appears their claws are tiny enough not to do any harm. However, they are great leapers, and very tenacious. I finally had to remove the feeder altogether.


Max is still braving the garage several times a day. He just has to go out there. It provides variety in his sheltered life, poor thing! Then he sleeps all afternoon. A short runabout during dinner, then on my lap with the afghan for the evening in the recliner. When I have to get up for something, he gets off, waits til I come back, and pops back onto my lap again. He knows the routine. He's a great lap warmer!

Is Cable TV too important in your life?

I was reading the news online this morning, and noticed an article about an Indiana family who had a daughter that was badly burned, but they refused to take her to the hospital. Two weeks later, they were reported, the daughter admitted (now in critical condition) and the other child taken.
The daughter had been badly burned when her PJ's caught fire from their space heater, their only source of heat. Since they owed $1000 to the gas company, their heat had been turned off. Reading further, it was stated they still had telephone, electricity and CABLE TV!
This is what really gets me. These people would rather pay their cable bill than their heat bill!!

What is wrong with this picture? I know they aren't the only ones with this philosophy. This is partly what's wrong with America. Priorities are all screwed up. Now don't get me wrong, I know I don't make the right decisions all the time either. But the heat bill is a major thing, especially if you have children. In this case, TV was probably being used as escapism, and to keep the kids occupied. TV can be used like a drug. I know, because in a small way, we do it to. Who hasn't?
Who hasn't come home from a long exhausting frustrating day at work, only to zone out in front of the TV? And woe to the one who stands in the way of 'my tv time'! Children are yelled at, the dog is kicked, and the wife ignored. We don't have that problem here, but in the past, I have seen tempers flare if someone interrupts, or makes too much noise.
What saddens me is the TV now has priority over family. It is more important than time spent with the kids or wife or husband or even yard work. We need this drug to help us forget the day's troubles. And a drug it is. Just like the computer can be, or music. If it isn't balanced in your life, if it takes priority over family and friends, or having a real life, then it's a drug. An idol. And we let it happen every day.
I am not working at the moment, so the computer has become my friend. My way to keep in touch, to reach out. Problem is, there isn't much reaching back. And you will find that with the TV, computer, or radio. It's a nice accent to life, but it shouldn't be your life.
As I sit here typing this, my anger slowly dissolves, only to be replaced with guilt. When I see screwed up priorities or wrong reactions, first I am angry, but then I start to apply it to my own life. Am I doing this too? Where am I making this mistake in my own life? Let me see, do I really need HBO when I have credit card bills to pay? Oh boy...
Do I really need high car payments when we're trying to save for a down payment on a house? What about our savings account? Couldn't we grow that more by cutting down to basic cable, or none at all? In this economy, what if we lost our job? Sit and watch cable so we don't think about it, while our lives literally fall apart around us??
How many times is that sadly true? I know people that have kids, can't pay their oil bill in the winter, yet overspend on their kids at Christmas, while the inlaws pay their bill. Or other foolish things, like they pay to have a bear they shot stuffed and mounted, instead of being able to afford things like decent mattresses for their kids.
What is wrong with this world? Why do we buy our kids the latest wii or Playstation, yet they don't have a decent mattress to sleep on? I know of another family who had cable TV, but their little 4 year old didn't have more than one pair of PJ's to sleep in, or enough delicates between wash days.

WAKE UP PEOPLE!! What is wrong with this thinking?! We have such an attitude of 'I deserve' and of what we think is 'normal', that our thinking is all out of whack. It's selfish.

Our parents and grandparents had much better prioritizing skills than we do. We've been given too much, so we think we are owed much. And we want it all NOW. Never mind our parents had to scrimp and save and go without so we could have. And the scrimping didn't mean going without sheets on the bed or enough underwear to last between washings. I never noticed lack at our house, yet we were far from rich. They were just better at prioritizing than we are.

As a side note, I remember when we only got 3 channels on our TV. We didn't have to pay for it back then. We got to watch it for an hour after school (Gilligan's Island!), then we had to go do our homework and go play till supper. After supper, if it was summer, we were never allowed to stay in to watch it. We always escaped outside to play till dark. If it was raining, or winter, we either played in the basement with our toys, up in our room, or, we got to sit with our parents and watch what ever THEY choose to watch that night. And they always choose something family friendly while we were still up. Adult content didn't start till 9 or 10pm in those days. And I say 'Adult' lightly, because now it's laughable what they called 'adult' compared to today. At this point I've given up 'R' rated movies, because I can't take the language and violence anymore. I am becoming appalled at what is allowed in PG-13! But that's for another post...

So ask yourself this: Are my priorities straight? Do my children have a comfortable bed to sleep in, enough bedding to keep warm, enough good food, enough shoes and clothes to wear, and a warm house to live in? I know life is hard, and we all do our best. I'm not judging here. But if you have cable TV, and I pods, and cell phones, but not enough healthy food in the fridge, or the other necessary things, then you need to reexamine what's really important.
Because in the long run, you are teaching your children what's important for the next generation, and the next, and the next...

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Following is a story I received through email. I saved it, because there was so much truth in it. I hope you find it as thought provoking as I did.


THE STRANGER WHO CAME TO STAY

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with
adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name?.....





We just call him 'TV.'
He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.

Note: I guess we could call their children Video Game, IPOD and Wii?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas All!
Yes, that was our tree this year. We cut it fresh about 2 weeks before Christmas just down the road at our local tree farm. The field was pretty picked over this year, it's very popular. A bit muddy, as the frost was starting to come out of the ground due to the warm day. My hubby picked this one out. I usually do, but he did such a good job. I don't like a tree overly formed. I like it to have a bit of a natural look. I like nooks and crannies to put my ornaments into. The branches are firmer too, not so limp as a tree that's been pruned too much. I would just as soon go cut one in the woods, but around here, that's not possible.

We had a good Christmas. We went up north to New Brunswick, Canada to visit all of our families. My side and his. It's 9 hours each way. We pretty much decided (again!) not to go home next year. The weather wasn't good this year, ran into sleet, freezing rain, slush, and snow in Maine. Traffic was down to 45 mph. Many vehicles got caught in the slushy mess at the side of the road and were hauled into the ditch. Must have seen a dozen cars off the road in the stretch between Bangor and Augusta. One truck was on it's top. We stopped to see if one car was ok. It was facing backwards. They had been there about 10 minutes, and had already called the wrecker. Thank the Lord for cell phones!
Between the weather, and hauling a load of presents in the back of the truck (we were driving a four wheel drive), it's just getting to be too big of a hassle. Gift cards are the way to go!! Yeah!

Pet peeve alert!
People, you've got to express your gratitude for the gift given. Be thankful!! And show it!! Sometimes that's all the thanks a parent or friend really wants, is to know you truly like it. If you don't, thank them anyway for their thoughtfulness in remembering you. Find something about the gift or moment to be thankful for. And let them know. I spend hours every year searching out presents for our family that I think they want or need. I call them about it, ask questions, and find exactly what they ask for. All I want in return is to see the look of gratitude on their face, a heartfelt 'THANK YOU'! Say a word or two about it. After all, I asked them what they wanted, and here it is. I shopped, I bought, and hauled it nine hours to deliver it.
This has been a major pet peeve of mine for years. Some parts of our family still needs to learn the art of gratitude, and more than that, the art of expressing it. A smile and a nod just doesn't cut it for me. One needs to think about what the other person put into buying these presents for you, the effort made.

This past year, I told my in-laws and my parents we just wanted a gift card to a local furniture store. Quality furniture, made to last, that with a little help, we could buy an item that would last for years. So instead of semi useless little things that we can live without, we got a gift card from each set of parents that enabled us to buy something we've wanted for years.
We are so very grateful for this gift. I emailed them, I am mailing a thank you card, and we thanked them over the phone. We want them to know, WE REALLY LOVE THIS GIFT! and we are thankful for their generosity.
Well, that's a long enough post for now. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and are well versed in the art of Gratitude!

Thanksgiving, scones, apple orchards and potato fields...

ORANGE GLAZED TROPICAL FRUIT SCONES (without the glaze)

I baked these scones last month and boy, were they good! The recipe can be found in Pillsbury's Best of the Bake-off Cookbook, 50th Anniversary Edition. I didn't fill them with the spread, but they were still scrumptious. Now, these were more biscuit like, instead of granular. Depends on the type of scone you like, but these were very tender and flaky. The trick is not to over handle the dough. Just barely mix it, shape it and bake it.
Thanksgiving was celebrated with just the two of us this year. Usually we have company from up north come to spend the holidays with us, but since they had already been here in October, it's too long of a trip to come back that soon. (9 hrs each way). I baked a lovely ham, Carando Spiral sliced smoked - very very good, and makes good leftovers, even after freezing. I also made boiled potatoes, green bean casserole, and since I over cooked the yams in the micro, I decided to mash them and make some sort of casserole. It was my version of a recipe for sweet potato pie. Was quite good, actually. The brown sugar on top really made it. I usually slice them and candy them in brown sugar and butter, but they were too soft.

I made apple crisp for dessert. I bought a new kind of apple this year, Blushing Golden. They stay quite crisp in the fridge for a long time, probably up to 2 months, if your fridge isn't too dry. I read that the flavor for these apples develop during the month after they have been picked. They are good out of hand too. I love Ginger Gold, an earlier apple. They make excellent crisp apples. My all time favorites are Cortland. I skip right over Macintosh. Never cared for them as much.
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Apple bins like the ones I used...
Long long ago, in a far away land, I once worked in an apple orchard with my mother and younger brother. First, I picked, because I was quite young, about 14 at the time. In a couple of years, I was able to do the U-pick, and then worked in the apple house. I much preferred being in an apple orchard than the potato field, as so many of my friends were doing at the time.



PRESQUE ISLE, MAINE - OUTLYING AREA

I lived in potato country (no, not Idaho) - Carleton County, New Brunswick, Canada. Not sure many people are familiar with that area, but it and Aroostook County in Maine (which I refer to as 'sister' counties, because they are so similar that way) main crop is potatoes. Every year in the fall, school children would get 3 weeks off to work in the local potato fields, earning money for clothes, etc, and helping local farmers get their crops in. Therefore, the school year started earlier than most.

POTATO BLOSSOMS IN AROOSTOOK COUNTY, MAINE

One year, I did work in the potato fields. I worked on a harvester, actually. A lot of younger kids would pick by the barrel, but I didn't move to the area till I was a teen. I had the misfortune to be on the same harvester with a lady who disliked me intensely, and the feeling was mutual. (The fact that she was best friends with my husband's ex did nothing to endear us to each other.) Anyway, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it a bit more if it hadn't been for that fact. It was nice to be outside, but on dry days, the dust flew. On wet days, when we could get into the fields, there were clods of dirt bigger than the potatoes to sort through. The harvester doesn't stop, so you end of throwing things madly to keep up.
I always looked forward to new fields, as the landscape would change. Sometimes we were right out in the open, on top of a broad hill. Other times, we were in a former hay field, surrounded by woods, only found by traversing many farm lanes. The big fields seemed to take forever. Some mornings, it was very crisp out. By afternoon, we could be down to shirt sleeves. Same with the apple orchard. If the temp was below freezing, we had to wait until the sun took the frost off the apples before we could go out and pick. I remember snow one time. Winter comes quite early that far north. Glorious summers, but very short.

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I have a lot of memories over that span of 3 or 4 years. I grew up during that time, got married, moved across town. My horse, Bandit, a yearling, was killed one October, on my birthday. He crawled through the fence while we were at church that evening, and got in the road. Very hard lesson learned. I went to work the next day, because I was working the U-pick. I only lasted an hour or two, because I couldn't stop crying. My boss then told me about a barn fire they'd had years ago, and had lost 4 horses, so she understood, and let me go home.
On the way home, I stopped into the welding shop where my husband was working to let him know. We had an old Lincoln town car with a moon roof at the time, and when I left the shop, I backed into a trailer and dented the area between the back window and side window. Fortunately, I missed the glass. But it was another unfortunate incident I didn't need.
That seems so long ago. The orchard where had I worked in that had been there for years before I arrived, and several after, is no longer. Potatoes were more lucrative, so they've been replaced. They tore out the big hedge row of trees that were so pretty and protective of the apple trees to make more room for potatoes. I mourned the loss of the orchard where I had made so many memories. It just doesn't look the same.
I hadn't planned on going down that particular 'memory lane', but there it is.
Well, that's all for now. I will try to do better about posting.